These times are a dangerous for those who follow the FSM! As we continue through the new millineum, we are attacked in a nation of free religion! Piracy is considered a crime and the only pirates left are those that bootleg major motion pictures and/or attack US ships off the coast of Somolia!
Inspired by the FSM, I say we fight back! Let us rally! We must stand together and reclaim our rights. Let us set sail, away from these bigots and go out in search of the FSM.
He has spoken to me. He has told me of the time that he will appear before the masses, waving His appendages and whipping those that oppose Him. Global warming is merely the first example of His wrath. To follow will be famine and disease, wiping out all tomato plants and starving the world of unbelievers! Only those that keep Fridays holy and midgets (those most in favor) will be spared.
I say to you:
Keep to your loose moral standards
Only wear Pirate garb while spreading the word of the FSM
Keep Fridays holy and,
Above all, praise the midgets and mimic them that you might also gain the favor of the most holy and appendagy Flying Spaghetti Monster!
FSM Prophet
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