December 21, 2012

Arrgh I say unto you!

By now, I'm sure you have heard about the Mayan Prophecies surrounding 2012. I have been doing some thinking regarding the issue, but first some background in case you are clueless as to the growing conspiracies surrounding the date.

The Mayan's were one of the first civilizations to develop an intricate and highly advanced calander system, based on star movements/patterns and generations of observations. They developed a short calander (based around the number 260) and a long calender. The Mayans had a very different opinion of time than we have grown to believe. As opposed to Western thought's linear progression of time, the Mayans believed time to be more cyclic, with the world and universe progression through a series of eras.

The Mayan long calender ends on the modern date of December 21, 2012 (the winter solstice). According to their predictions, the Earth and Sun will be in perfect alignment with the center of the Milky Way Galaxy on this date. Many have speculated that this will be the end of the world, while others have speculated that it will be a time of re-birth or a golden age of man.

I am here to set the record straight. The Mayans were correct. December 21, 2012 will be a significant date and a shift in the modern paradigm of the human condition. On this date, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in His noodly glory, will descend upon the earth and appear before His subjects. At this time, those that have served Him by returning to their Pirate ways, will receive their noodly reward (specifically a luxury ship and many chests of booty to pass out to small children). Those that have been blind to the truth, will be convinced and repentant. They, now having converted to the truth, will serve as deck hands on above mentioned ships. They are not being punished, but rather converted.

Are you ready for 2012? Have you thought about the Truth? Do you want your own ship or to clean the decks of others? Now is the time to give yourself over to the FSM and become one of His beloved Pirates! Think about it...

FSM Prophet