His Noodly Guidance

Arrgh I say unto you!

Long ago, Pirates used to use the stars to help them navigate the seas. It has often been believed that the artists for the star maps were guided by the FSM. Today, we do not use star maps to navigate, as we have become landlocked after falling from our Pirate ways.

Nevertheless, the FSM in His infinite wisdom and understanding for our lazy ways still continues to guide us. The modern day navigation systems, GPS (Garmin, Tom-tom, etc.) are in fact a direct link to His noodly guidance.

We have been lied to however. We have been led to believe that the GPS systems are functioning through satellites in space. I offer this alternative theory:

How many satellites does it take to "triangulate" a position on the planet? It takes at least 3, or that is what we have been led to believe. I offer that the guidance is not satellite provided but instead from His Noodly Appendages.

The mighty FSM does not want us to fall away from our desire to explore and navigate the planet, and fearing that we have been becoming to settled, has provided us with navigational means of travel. His Noodly Appendages allow us to find the nearest BWW or gas station, and can even show us the route to distant relatives homes.

Oh how He is Great!!

FSM Prophet