There have been rumors a flying about the upcoming Rapture of the Christians this Saturday, May 21st at 5:00 pm. I say that this is a joyous occasion. It is a symbol of freedom for FSM believers everywhere!
The FSM has decided, in His noodly wisdom, to finally rid us of those that would oppress true believers. Some would argue that this is proof of the Christian way. I say this is untrue. It is in fact the purge of non-believers that is up and coming. The FSM is taking those that do not follow him and putting them on some other carb-free planet so that both sides can finally live in peace and happiness. The Christians can live away from us, free to kiss their wooden Plus signs and we who follow the Pirate ways may eat (pasta), drink (grog) and be merry!
There is the question of the animals owned and oppressed by the Christians. Fear not! There is a way they can be safe. There is a company out there that promises to keep the animals left behind safe, following the true nature of Pastafarian charity: http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/ .
If you happen to be Christian, and are concerned about what will happen to your beloved critter friends, there is help out there. Please visit the link above.
What a great day this is! I look forward to the separation of true believers in the ways of the FSM and those that follow Mr. Jesus.
RAMEN,
FSM Prophet
